52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Here I Go
The following is part of genealogist Amy Crow’s 2019 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks, which are weekly prompts encouraging genealogists to think about an ancestor and share something about them. The challenge
for Week 1 is First and answers the
question: Who was the first ancestor you found who you didn't personally know?
I’d like you to meet your great-grandmother
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One of the letters my dad gave me |
My dad never
actually said these words to me. He simply gave me an envelope filled with a
sheath of parchment letters from the late 19th and early 20th
centuries— letters to my great grandmother, who lived in Marquette, Michigan at
the time, from her business representative in Canada, Bernard “Barney” O’Connell.
After
reading through the letters, I wanted to know more about my great grandmother. I
immediately set out on a grave-digging expedition to bring her back to life.
Perhaps passing these letters on to me was a precursor to passing on the entire family history to me, which dad had already worked on for 20 years. If this was a test from my father about whether I would be a good steward of the living document, I must have passed with flying colors because he eventually designated me as the Family Historian.
Perhaps passing these letters on to me was a precursor to passing on the entire family history to me, which dad had already worked on for 20 years. If this was a test from my father about whether I would be a good steward of the living document, I must have passed with flying colors because he eventually designated me as the Family Historian.
Stephen told me you were dressed up in velvet
Ellen
“Nell” McConnell Downey, born on February 4, 1865 to Patrick McConnell and Margaret Friel
in Seaforth, Ontario, Canada, married Thomas John Downey on November 26,
1889. Thomas, born December 23, 1858 in
what is now known as St. Columban, Ontario, Canada, was the second child and
eldest son of Stephen Downey and Brigit Pierce.
Nell
and Tom’s marriage took place at St. James Catholic Church in Seaforth. Witnesses to their marriage were Michael Downey,
the groom’s brother from McKillop Township, and Agnes McConnell, the bride’s
sister from Tuckersmith. Father P. T. Shea performed the wedding ceremony.
It
was a time when Catholics married Catholics and the Irish married the Irish. Both
of Tom’s parents had been born in Ireland. Nell’s father was also born in
Ireland, and although her mother wasn’t, her mother’s parents were both born
there. That counted.
Nell
was 24 and Thomas was 30 when they married. There are no family stories
recounting how they met or details about their courtship. But their hometowns of
Seaforth and St. Columban were less than six kilometers apart in a farming
community, which practically made Nell the girl next door. Perhaps they chose
their late November wedding date because Tom was a farmer. Surely the crops
were in by that time of year, and neighbors or farm hands could tend the
animals for one day.
The marriage
registry required that Nell be identified as a widow or a spinster. The
registrar noted spinster. Little did she know the day she became wife that it wouldn’t be long before she
would carry the title of widow—for the rest of her life.
Shortly after Nell
and Tom’s third anniversary, their daughter Mary Collette was born. I wonder if
her December 11 arrival in 1892, not long before the Christmas holidays, was responsible
for her name? On August 4, 1894, Marcella Agnes, my grandmother, their second
daughter was born.
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Nell, with Collette (left) and Marcella (right), circa 1898 |
At the end of 1894
Tom came down with pneumonia after helping a neighbor move his overturned wagon
and team of horses from a ditch. He died of heart failure on January 26, 1895,
leaving Nell a widow. Mary, who would be called by her middle name, Collette,
was just two-years old; Marcella was only five-months old.
Sarah E. Dunne,
Nell’s cousin from Canarsie, Long Island, wrote this sympathy letter to Nell,
dated January 31, 1895:
My dear cousin,
I just received a letter from Will telling me of Tom's death. I am so sorry for you and all the family but
you most of all. It never occurred to me
that he could die. He was so tall and
seemed so strong. But to be taken in the
prime of life and when his family needed him most, seems almost cruel, but the
good God, the all-wise One, must have thought it best. Although it is so hard to reconcile oneself
to think it so.
May He who gave you trouble give you strength to bear it and may he
guide you that you may bring up your children pleasing to Him.
If you but think that the time on this earth is nothing as compared
with the next world where, there surely, you never will be separated, it will
comfort you. And, maybe, he going before
can do more for you than on earth.
Dear cousin, I cannot sympathize as others can for never have me lost
one of our family and I pray God it will be a long time before we do. But I, sincerely, pray that his soul may rest
in peace and be always with God.
Your loving cousin,
Sarah E. Dunne
Another sympathy
letter from Englewood, Illinois dated March 6, 1895, but not in it’s entirety,
so the author is unknown.
My dear Ellie,
I hope you will not think me negligent in not writing ere this to
sympathize with you in your affliction, but at the time of the sad event I knew
you would be so prosliated (??) that letters would scarcely be
read. I delayed on that account—a little
longer than I should. You must know that
we feel deeply for you, being such a good, kind husband, and the little
children their loving father. It seems almost
impossible to realize that Tom is gone.
He seemed so well in the summer when I was home. We must all bow to God's will. No matter what
trial he sends back to you it will seem as if it was too much to bear.
Fa thinks there was no one like poor Tom—always so obliging and kind
and willing to do anything to please another.
It must be some consolation. . .
Perhaps these letters did console Nell on some level. But it’s likely
there was no consolation for Tom’s parents, especially his father, Stephen. In 1834,
qt two-years old, Stephen migrated
to Canada with his father, mother, three-year old sister and two-month old
brother. His mother and both siblings died and were buried at sea on their trip
from Ireland. His father, Dennis, never remarried so Stephen grew up in
McKillop Township, Ontario, the only child of a single father who was a pillar
of the community.
Dennis Downey, a staunch Roman Catholic,
was one of the first settlers to open his home for public Mass. In about 1850,
he donated part of his land for construction of the first log church in
McKillop.
He served as the first Secretary-Treasurer
of the McKillop school. He was also elected as Councillor in 1850, the first
year Councillors were elected by the populace at large. And in 1856, he became
the first Reeve [mayor] of McKillop, and then again in 1863.
Dennis
left Stephen with some big shoes to fill, but Stephen wouldn’t do it alone.
This only child married Brigit Pierce on October 27, 1856. By 1876, they had 11
children—six boys and five girls.
With
the massive size of his family and landholdings to manage, there was little
time for Stephen to be as political as his father had been. However, he was
named and served as a Trustee of the McKillop school at one time.
Stephen
farmed dairy cows, pigs, chickens, geese and ducks. He also cultivated fields
of oats, hay, rye and a large vegetable garden to feed his family. He and Brigit
had a large home and it was said that she was a marvelous cook. The family
loved to entertain. They were a happy and outgoing family in those early days.
Over
the years, Stephen Downey amassed 500 acres of farmland in the area, five
100-acre lots. He set up four of his sons—Thomas, Michael, Harry and
Joseph—each with their own lot. He kept his own 100 acres to farm. Now, with
the death of the family’s eldest son, those happy early days had turned a
tragic corner.
Nell migrated to
Marquette, Michigan with Colette and Marcella in 1898—three years after Tom’s
death. They moved in with Nell’s sister, Agnes McConnell Enright, Agnes’
husband, John, and their two-year old daughter, Annie. In the 1900 Federal
Census, records show Nell was still living in the rented house at 225 W.
Prospect Street in Marquette with her sister’s family. Nell’s occupation was
listed as dressmaker.
Correspondence from
Bernard “Barney” O’Connell of Dublin, Huron County, Canada to Nell hint at why
she left Canada. It seems there was no love lost between her and her in-laws
after Tom’s death.
Undated—Possibly March 1900
Mrs. T.J. Downey
Dear Madam,
Possibly you will wonder why I have not at an earlier date written you
an account of my stewardship.
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Bernard O'Connell |
When I asked Mike [Tom’s brother] for the rent last Fall, he told me to go to
his father [Stephen] and treat with
him as he intended keeping part, at least, for the keep of the Children, and if
I did not like that I could sue for the rest.
Mike and Stephen both told me they could sue me personally and recover
from me the value of keeping the Children because I was your security. When you took out letters of Administration,
Stephen said he had legal advice to that effect.
I told him to sue away as soon as he liked and he would find out to his
cost what he would make out of it. I
told him I was your security; that you would manage the estate for the benefit
of yourself and children, and how could you manage it better than to pay off
the Mortgage in so short a time.
Besides, said I to him, if you bring this to Court, I am prepared to
swear that you and your wife together told me that if Ellie would leave
you the children, their keep would cost her nothing, that you would not charge
one cent for keeping them. He said he
did not remember having said that to me.
I told him I remembered it and would swear it if necessary. This bit of information softened him down a
little and I hear no more about law since.
After some time they offered me eighty ($80.00) dollars instead of one
hundred and ten. Of course I refused to
take it till I consulted your mother, Mrs. Enright and Mr. Geary. They all advised me to accept it, which I
did. Indeed I thought myself it was
better than to have law, which would probably cost more and only intensify
existing bitterness, which is already too strong.
On December 31st, I called at Stephen's, got $80.00, which within one
hour I placed in the Bank in Seaforth.
And as you have the children to pay for now, any minute you need a part
or the whole, let me know and I will forward it to you. I would have written you sooner, but I
dropped a few lines in Seaforth to Mrs. Enright to let her know and I knew she
would tell you. I would have answered
yours of the 28th of January sooner, but I thought possibly I might meet Mr.
Geary soon and consult with him but I have not seen him yet.
Now with regard to selling your place.
I would ask you to reconsider that.
In the first place, the Lease runs two years yet and even if you could
give possession, you could not give it for two years till the Lease
expires. Besides, Tom died without a
will and your letters of administration empowers you to manage the estate for
the benefit of yourself and children but you have no power to sell till
Marsella is of age for she has a claim on the place and the law will not allow
her to sign it away till she is of age.
Though I have been told if you can furnish ample proof supported by
affidavits that the rent is not sufficient to keep the children, in that case
possibly the law would give you power to sell, but I am told it would cost you
between $75 and $100 to get it. For
these reasons I ask you to reconsider your intention of selling. Besides the interest you could get in the
bank would not make you much more than half the rent.
Be sure to send a dollar in good time to pay for your rent of the
house, or will I take it out of the bank and pay it? Let me know.
Do not be annoyed at anything your friends here may Say. I am not aware that they have said anything
light of you. All I know is Stephen told
me you were dressed up in velvet and that some person in Marquette was watching
your movements and writing to him. So
long as you keep yourself right before God, you need not care what a vain,
proud, envious world will say. Pray for
them that God may forgive them and it will bring blessings on yourself. Read occasionally a chapter in the Following of Christ, it will do you
more good than if you returned spite, for spite and envy.
With best wishes to you and the Children, to Mrs. Enright and her care
I remain
Dear Madam
Your Sincere friend
Bernard O’Connell
It seems that Nell had invoked her right to dower under the Married Women's Property Act, 1872, a common law entitling a widow to a
portion of her husband's estate in absence of a will. A dower allows the wife to provide for
herself and any children born during the marriage.
While several American states had abolished
the law of dower by the mid-19th century, because it impeded the
sale of land, the law remained strong in Ontario. Upper Canadian legislators
steadfastly refused to interfere with a wife’s right to dower.
The 1860 Legislative Council argued that to
abolish this protection would be to undermine the position of most widows: “The
loss by a poor widow of her dower would perhaps leave her penniless. And in
instances the wife contributes just as much to enhancing the value of the
property as her husband. . . It would not be right to leave the widow
completely at the mercy of her offspring. . .” (Parliamentary Debates, Newspaper Hansard, reel 2, Legislative
Council, 13 April 1869, 34).
By invoking her right of dower, it seems
Nell also invoked the ire of Stephen Downey. Why else would he refuse to pay
$110, which I assume he once agreed to as a fair sum? Or perhaps he was ordered
to pay that amount. In his letter, Mr. O’Connell mentions the strong bitterness
that exists—most likely on both sides.
Despite
having the strength of the law on her side, Nell was now facing the strength of
Stephen Downey’s own obstinate ideas of right and wrong, punctuated by the
grief of losing his son and further deepened by losing the last of what was
left of his son on this Earth—his son's two daughters whose mother had taken
them to the United States. Most likely Stephen believed that Nell had not lost
enough yet.
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